The Whole Reason I Quit
My wife is away this weekend on a much needed girls retreat weekend. This naturally means that good ol Dad gets to spend some quality time with the boys. I wrote a while back over on the KillTheCan.org blog about how I’d lost the first 53 days of eldest son’s life to dip cause I was a dumbass and hadn’t quit yet. As I sit here nearing the end of the first of 5 days alone with my boys I’m reminded once again why quitting dip was the best decision I’ve ever made (of course behind marrying their mother and deciding to start and continue our family).
Sure they are a pain in the ass from time to time, but what kids aren’t? The fact that I’ve done what I needed to do to be healthy for THEM is what makes my decision so awesome. And as I sit here watching them watch Wall-E for about the billionth time I couldn’t be happier.
Chewie – Day 1,552
Chewie:
First: You were watching Wall-E at 6:30AM??? You guys bonkers?
Second: Three years ago when I was an active Cope whore I used to lay awake at night thinking about how my tobacco use might kill me and leave my two little girls fatherless. I was a single dad and they desperately needed me. Like you, I was motivated by them to do what needed to be done in kicking my addiction. It’s all good, but here’s the rub…once they’re all growed up and independent (which is sooner for me than you), why stay quit then? For me, the answer to that question is purely selfish: being an active addict really, really sucked. There was absolutely nothing good about being dependent on dip.
That’s why it still bugs me a little when fresh quitters glamourize their addictions. I just saw an intro post that said, “…how can something so good be so bad for you?” Addict-speak, plain and simple. If you really believe that nonsense, I think you’re bound to go back to it eventually.
theo – 820
Theo – 6:30 PM… but yes, we’re bonkers 😉
And as I reread both my post as well as your response, I realize that I misspoke a bit. We always tell people that you have to quit for yourself rather than a family member etc. And I did (though the post didn’t come off like that).
I AM selfish… I love these kids so much, that I want as much time with them as possible… hence the reason I quit 😉
Chewie,
I too, quit for myself, but something has changed in the last 38 days, I seem to be looking at my kids with more adoration, and loving them more everyday, I think, in part, to finally living in complete honesty with myself regarding my addictions. I thank you both for being here.
Matty – amazing how that works isn’t it? Congrats on 38 big days of quit… it only gets better!