“Hey, haven’t I been here before?” I keep asking myself that, and the truth is, yes I have.
But this time it’s for real, and I mean it. Although I have heard myself say that a lot of times, it HAS to be true this time. I am not getting younger, and realized a long time ago that despite what the younger version of me thought, I am NOT indestructible.
For so many years I have been selfish, yes selfish only thinking of myself and that next dip. Hell I’ve even borrowed money out of my kids piggy banks to buy the shit when I didn’t have cash on me. They always got their money back, but that’s not the point, point is I was a junky enough to take it. Snuff had me by the balls, and I would do anything for it.
Well I could go on and on but the fact is I have a 14 year old daughter, a 7 year old son, and a 4 month old daughter, and they are all counting on me to be around for a long time, and I want to be. This world is crazy don’t ya know, and old dad has got to be there to teach, protect, guide and love these children that were a gift, and no worm dirt in my lip is worth throwing that away.
So, yeah I’ve been here before, but this is the first time I will succeed because I know I will never be an ex dipper, but a dipper that don’t dip no more.
Everyday is a new quit day, and everyday will be a victory, for my family, myself and my friends.
This time, it’s for real….promise.