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Rethinking “Pay it Forward”

As many quitters hit 100 days quit, including myself when I hit it, we think of ways to Pay it Forward and help out those who are new and struggling with the idea of being quit.  We should never stop doing this, it is one of the founding principles of this site and why it runs so well today.

I was in chat and the topic of  someone caving came up.  This person was well over 1,500 days quit when it happened.  As we discussed the topic the one question that is always asked is “How does that happen?”  Well, this got me looking at the room and seeing who we had.  There were 7 quitters , ranging from 14 days to well over 1,000 days quit.  One of the quitters was someone I met in chat months before who was posting essentially by himself.   He invited  me to post with him and I have almost every day since.  I remember thinking at the time, “why would someone with this many days need me to post with him?  I am more than 500 days behind him, I could not possibly offer any help.”  This is where I learned that sometimes learned that paying it forward requires you to pull someone forward.  This person had no one to hold himself accountable to, he posted it his word but no one there to go into the daily battle against nicotine with.  When he posts he looks for me, when I post and I don’t see him I start to wonder where he is.

For all of you new quitters, when a veteran reaches out to help you and post with you, ask them what group they are in and start posting with them everyday.  I know when I was new I would never do that as I felt I had nothing to offer,  that was wrong on my part.  I realize now what I offer if brotherhood first, I offer some support in the battle we all wage daily which is saying no to nicotine.  You might find by doing this that long time quitter will stay a supporter and not be another pre-HOF all over again.  Then you can say, we prevented that.  Just remember, post there everyday just like you would in your own group.  You don’t need to post everywhere, but a few would be a giant help.

While you are at it, stop by January 2010 and post up, we would be happy to have you.

klark – day 450

3 Replies to “Rethinking “Pay it Forward””

  1. Great advice Klark. The added accountability has really helped strengthen my quit. Congrats on hitting the 5th floor yesterday!

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